Co-parenting is not for the faint-hearted. It demands emotional maturity, a child-centred mindset, and the ability to set aside personal hurt. This reality struck me again when my husband made me watch a series of videos on Jub Jub’s social media one quiet Sunday afternoon.

The rapper and TV host, real name Molemo Katleho Maarohanye, shares a teenage son, Christian Morningstar, with singer Kelly Khumalo. Jub Jub was sentenced to 20 years in prison in October 2012, when Christian was still a toddler, and his incarceration has long framed the public perception of him as an absent father.

This weekend, he resurfaced online to address comments Kelly made during her interview on the L-Tido Podcast, where she referred to him as “useless” and implied he had not played a meaningful role in their son’s life.

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A conversation heavy with tension

Watching the podcast, the tension was palpable. When asked if she receives child support from her children’s fathers, Kelly’s silent gesture – widening one eye with her finger – was a loud answer. She explained that only the late Senzo Meyiwa, her other child’s father, had been a “very hands-on father.”

She also commended L-Tido for being a present father despite not being in a romantic relationship with his child’s mother. From there, the conversation moved into heavier territory: access, accountability, and a recurring narrative many South Africans know too well – fathers claiming they are being denied access to their children.

Kelly insisted that any father who truly wants access will “fight tooth and nail” for it – including going to court.

Jub Jub’s counter-narrative

In his videos, Jub Jub pleaded with Kelly to “stop it,” insisting she knows the truth and questioning why she would deny him access. He claimed he attempted to be involved, even sending gifts from prison – gifts he says were returned. He also mentioned attempts to reach out through lawyers, allegedly without success. However, he drew a line at court, saying the system is cold and not a route he wants to take.

Kelly, however, has been consistent: if he wants his son, he should take the legal route. Earlier this year on Father’s Day, she even posted a video celebrating herself and declared that real fathers go to court for access.

A deeper wound beneath the surface

Parenting becomes complicated when viewed through the lens of personal trauma. Kelly has openly spoken about alleged abuse in their relationship and the emotional challenge of raising a child who resembles someone who hurt you. Healing from that kind of pain is layered and deeply personal – and I do not envy anyone walking that path.

Still, two things can be true at once:

  • a parent can be hurting and protective, and

  • a child can still need access to both parents.

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Reality check: Fame mirrors society

We often forget that celebrities are human. Their stories may play out on public platforms, but they mirror countless South African homes. I once was a child caught in the crossfire of a broken marriage – used as a pawn, confused, and hurting. Many adults know that wound. Many still live with it.

And if we’re honest, our court and family systems are complicated and not always fair – something many men echo, including public figures like Penuel The Black Pen, who weighed in urging angry mothers to seek healing rather than weaponise access to children.

But we must also ask:
Is this always about bitterness?
Or are some mothers genuinely trying to protect their children from harm?

Perhaps, in many cases, it is both.

At the heart of it all: A child

Whatever the truth is in this case, one thing is clear: children grow up. They form their own opinions. They will one day seek answers with or without our permission.

If reports that Christian has been communicating secretly with his father are true, it speaks volumes. Children crave identity, belonging, and connection — even in imperfect circumstances.

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So, what can we learn?

  • Social media is not the place to solve co-parenting conflicts.

  • Court may be uncomfortable, but sometimes it is necessary.

  • Healing matters – for parents and children.

  • Access should never be a power play.

  • When adults cannot communicate, children become casualties.

At the end of the day, this is not just about Jub Jub and Kelly. It is about us – our homes, our wounds, and the legacy we build for our children.

And if there is one thing we owe them, it is this: a chance to grow up without carrying our battles on their backs.

Would love to hear your opinion, so please leave me a comment below.