A few days ago, the Moramaga sisters buried their daughters, Tshiamo and Baleseng, in their home in Lukau Village, Limpopo. It is their names that strike a deep chord.

  • Tshiamo means goodness or blessing.

  • Baleseng means “let them reap.”

Can you imagine the amount of love and hope in their mother’s hearts when they named their children, and the immense pain of burying that hope so young?

Tshiamo was born on 25 April 2003, and Baleseng, just nine months later, on 28 February 2004. They were 22 and 21, respectively.

Dreams cut short

Tshiamo had recently enrolled in a beauty therapy course, while Baleseng was in her third year at UNISA, pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Education and working as a teacher’s assistant.

They were young, beautiful, independent Black women, renting a back room in Mamelodi after moving to Johannesburg to make their dreams come true. The sisters were inseparable – they loved each other, dressed alike, and remained close even in death.

The abuser: A man driven by control

Both sisters were killed by Tshiamo’s 38-year-old boyfriend, Tebogo Mnisi, a bouncer and father of three. Tebogo was physically and emotionally abusive toward Tshiamo, and her mother, Boitumelo (40), was aware of this.

Abusers often pick partners they feel they can dominate. For Tebogo:

  • Tshiamo was easier to manipulate

  • She was less experienced in relationships

  • She was less financially established or emotionally secure

  • She was more likely to tolerate red flags because she was still learning boundaries

Older men who date younger women might appear mature, but are often emotionally stunted. Signs include:

  • Fragile ego

  • Jealousy and paranoia

  • Fear of equal power dynamics

  • Need for validation

  • Low self-esteem masked by control or bravado

Age does not equal maturity.

The night of the tragedy

On the night of their deaths, after a night out at Small Konka in Mamelodi – which a gender-based violence activist called “a war zone for women” — Tebogo was also at the club. He watched the girls from a distance as they partied with an acquaintance, Desmond Senong, who later became another victim of Tebogo’s gun violence.

Before he shot the girls in the head and chest, neighbours heard him shout:

“You will make me make mistakes.”

This suggests he was conscious of his actions. Prior to that, Tshiamo had sent a message to her sister saying that Tebogo “has started with his things” – possibly referring to his violent behaviour.

Lies and victim-blaming

Some South Africans have audaciously claimed that the girls provoked the attack by using Tebogo’s money to buy alcohol at the club and refusing to go home with him. Even if that were true, does it justify killing them like stray animals at 2 a.m., their bodies later recorded for social media?

The girls bought their own drinks and enjoyed their night. Baleseng’s last TikTok video was captioned:

“Big girls pay their own bills.”

In another video, she spoke about her heartbreak caused by her father and expressed the wish that he would lower her coffin if she died before him. This alluded to something heartbreaking — the gap left by an absent father.

The role of absent fathers

Why would a 38-year-old man date a 22-year-old girl? Tebogo was two years younger than Tshiamo’s mother – old enough to be her father.

Research shows that young women growing up without a present father may seek the emotional or protective qualities of a father figure in a partner. Fathers model boundaries, respect, and assertiveness. Without this, daughters may struggle to recognise healthy vs. unhealthy behaviour, making it easier for controlling or manipulative men to dominate.

However, not every daughter of an absent father falls into abusive relationships. Awareness and support can break this cycle.

Generational Consequences

Who will now grow up without a father? Tebogo’s children, after he is sentenced for the murder of two young girls and the attempted murder of a young man he was suspicious of.

A call to action

To anyone blaming these girls for being young, ambitious, and full of life – that mindset is part of what is wrong with our country.

To fathers who consciously abandon their role: know that you are leaving a gap your children will inevitably try to fill.

To men who think it is acceptable to control, abuse, or even kill women because of fragile egos and insecurities: may you heal and learn what it truly means to be masculine.

May we, as a nation, heal – one person, one story at a time. The time to act is now.